Dreams Regrets and Gratefulness

I frequently dreamed about things in my past – the old version of our house and being in college. More often than not, the dreams about being in college were enrollment scenes, or me missing classes, or having a hard time looking for a classroom. I don’t remember though, if in those dreams, I looked younger, or if I was wearing my old clothes. But I am sure that they didn’t​ happen in real life. My guess for the dreams is the unresolved feelings I have about my past. 

I prayed to the Lord about it. I said sorry that I didn’t​ give my best when I was still studying. I was sorry for my wrong priorities. I was sorry for not listening to my parents when they told me to focus on my studies. I could have graduated with flying colors. I could have done more productive things on my spare time. I could have developed more meaningful friendships.

To live with no regrets is easier said than done. Regretting is good if it gets us praying like what happened to me. It’s always a very nice feeling to be able to release our burdens to our God. As I was broken before the Lord, He comforted me and opened my mind. He led me past my regrets and let me see where He was all the while when I was being a mediocre college student swearing by cramming was the best way to go. He let me realize the many times He was my Strength, my Redeemer, my Holy God who showed me mercy, and my loving Father who gave me so much grace. 

So my prayer didn’t just end in my list of could-haves. He lifted my spirit up, and I began thanking Him for: the opportunity to study in and graduate from a great university, enabling me to complete my program even though my focus was amiss, the considerate professors, the friends who helped me get good internships, His protection during the many late night walking around campus, the church mates I got to know and who still inspire me up to this day, and the joy I saw in my parents eyes on my graduation day. 

Oh Lord, there are many things to thank You for. Help us lift everything up to You. 😘

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Dreams Regrets and Gratefulness

God through the number 911

I was suddenly interested why 911 was the number chosen for emergency cases. I then Googled and read some answers from quora.com and people.howstuffworks.com. It was said that it began in North America in 1968. 3 digit numbers ending in 11 were set aside for quick-access local services such as 411 for directory assistance. A number that was short and easy to remember was needed, hence, 911. 

Then thinking of God, the giver of wisdom, I looked up 9:11 verses in the Bible. I thought that I would know Him better especially as a Savior and our Omnipotent Loving Father through this seemingly random set of numbers. Let’s look at some of them first in the Old Testament (NIV):

Genesis 9:11

I establish my covenant with you: Never again will all life be destroyed by the waters of a flood; never again will there be a flood to destroy the earth.

Deuteronomy 9:11

At the end of the forty days and forty nights, the Lord gave me the two stone tablets, the tablets of the covenant.

Nehemiah 9:11

You divided the sea before them, so that they passed through it on dry ground, but you hurled their pursuers into the depths, like a stone into mighty waters.

Psalm 9:11

Sing the praises of the Lord, enthroned in Zion; proclaim among the nations what he has done.

Psalm 91:1

Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

Proverbs 9:11

For through wisdom your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.

Amos 9:11

“In that day

“I will restore David’s fallen shelter—

I will repair its broken walls

and restore its ruins—

and will rebuild it as it used to be,

These Words of His are great reminders for us that He is our Almighty God. My prayer is that when we face an emergency or something that can make us panic, despair, or be afraid for our lives, we would call on Him first. 

He is our Creator, the One who established a Covenant with His people, the One who promised His people that the earth will never be destroyed by flood again. He gave the Ten Commandments for His people’s sake. Only He can part a sea! He can handle our enemies and save us so we can live and tell of his wonderful miraculous deeds! And amidst the many terrifying news we hear around the world, He says that we can find rest in Him. And also a good news for some of us who had been stolen from, our God is also our Restorer!

Now, if we appreciate God because of the things mentioned above, wait till we see what’s in the New Testament (NIV):

Matthew 9:11

When the Pharisees saw this, they asked his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors and sinners?”

Luke 9:11

but the crowds learned about it and followed him. He welcomed them and spoke to them about the kingdom of God, and healed those who needed healing.

John 9:11

He replied, “The man they call Jesus made some mud and put it on my eyes. He told me to go to Siloam and wash. So I went and washed, and then I could see.”

Acts 9:11

The Lord told him, “Go to the house of Judas on Straight Street and ask for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for he is praying. In a vision he has seen a man named Ananias come and place his hands on him to restore his sight.”

Hebrews 9:11

But when Christ came as high priest of the good things that are now already here, he went through the greater and more perfect tabernacle that is not made with human hands, that is to say, is not a part of this creation.

That’s how Jesus is as our Savior. He doesn’t play favorites or be picky about whom to save or whom to have a relationship with. He loves all of us sinners. He even loves the people who persecute His disciples. He doesn’t push away anyone who needs to hear from Him or be healed by Him. In Luke 9, Jesus sent His disciples out to do His works. Afterwards, they regrouped and probably wanted to spend some quality time alone with Jesus. But the people found out where Jesus was and Jesus welcomed them even though He probably planned to do something else when He brought His disciples with Him to Bethsaida. 

Then in John 9:11, we can see that Jesus is not just someone who answers our emergency call. He’s not even just a first responder. He’s not even just a doctor who can heal us. He is one with the Creator, one with His Father! That’s the meaning behind the use of the mud. Hebrews 9 explains it further that Jesus was not part of the creation because He is the Son of God and like our Papa God, Jesus has no beginning nor ending. 

Papa God loves us so much that He gave us His only Son Jesus (John 3:16) so that we would have a way back to His loving arms equipped and protected from the schemes of the enemy. He is always available to hear us when we call. He is our healer. He can do the impossible. And even when we think we are so deep in our sins, there’s no one whom Jesus can’t reach (Isaiah 59:1-2). Let’s call on to Him for anything and everything.

And for some of us who might be experiencing something that’s very humbling (like when Jesus took Saul’s eyesight temporarily), know that it’s God calling us or making a point. We only need to believe in His Son Jesus so that we can be saved and our sins, forgotten (Romans 10:9-10, Ephesians 2:8-9, Ephesians 1:7).

One final good news for today – we can rest assured that when we call on our Lord, He’s unlike an operator who doesn’t know us. He knows everything and still longs to hear from us because He desires a relationship with us. 

I pray that this entry helps your interest in knowing our God through reading His Word and talking with Him. May we all have an intimate relationship with our one true Savior and Lord.

God bless us all! 

God through the number 911

A mother’s success from a daughter’s perspective

Whenever I came home to my parent’s house, there was not an early morning nor evening that I did not see my mother on bended knees before the Lord. She was in need of His presence and did not want to go on campaigning without the Lord’s leading. Politics, she said, was not one of her strong suits.

She wanted to go back in her last company which she had already served for almost 38 years. And after all that time, she still wanted to dedicate her life contributing to its development and success. She was not sure if she could make it because she knew that her opponents were way more popular (to the company’s members) than she. But her trust was in the Lord and for that He did not let her down.

Truly, success comes in different forms. My mom did not get the total votes needed to become a member of the board. But here’s a list of why I think she won/ has been winning in key areas in her life today:

  1.  Throughout the campaign season, Mom and Pops got to spend more time together toward one goal. I would not be surprised if along the way, they remembered why they fell for each other, why they chose to commit to love and support each other for better or worse. 
  2. When the election results were shown, I still saw peace and joy in her eyes. She even thanked and praised God for the people who voted for her. And up until today, she still is in awe that a first timer like her got a substantial number of votes. She was in charge of her emotions and just looked to God for her fulfillment.
  3. She was used by God for the members to have more candidates to choose from disallowing the chance to just elect or re-elect people whom they did not really have faith in.
  4. She is and will always be an inspiration to her family and friends because of her faith and obedience to God. To go out and meet people, to ask them to vote for her was not her comfort zone. But she stepped out of it and shook a lot of hands believing that God is at work in her life and He will make her a stewardess over more for His Kingdom’s advancement.
  5. This experience enabled her to check on her intentions and dreams, to realize that she still is learning about her strengths and weaknesses, to rejoice and not worry about anything she thinks she lacks and instead focus on what God did, is doing, and will do through her imperfections. 

I am proud of her and Pops and my siblings. I am thankful for all of our relatives and friends.

Momsie, you are inspiring because even you are at recovery stage right now, resting after that long exhausting day of election last February 10, you still submit yourself to God’s will of perfecting you through trials declaring that His faithfulness will show to draw people closer to Him. L.U. 

    A mother’s success from a daughter’s perspective

    Celebral Palsy 

    I was nine when he came into our lives. He got that fair complexion that we, the older siblings, wished for ourselves. We thought he was the most good looking among us and our emotions were mixed. Gadiel never understood that we were sort of envious that he got genes mostly from Mom (peace, Pops). He never had the chance to brag and kid us that our skin was darker or that our noses were the common ones among Pinoys. 

    Celebral? Cerebral? It was a struggle to get the word right everytime I tried to mention it to my friends. I found it confusing in my teen years and letters L and R make me stammer. Friends came over our house and I was hesitant to introduce Gadiel to them not because I was ashamed of my brother’s condition. I was ashamed that they would see that I was not a very good sister.

    I thank God that our parents made sure that we siblings took our turns caring for Gadiel when he was still a baby. Somehow, I feel vindicated that I did some of my responsibilities. But it pains me knowing that when we got older, I should still have taken good care of him. Fed him, gave him water to drink, helped him sit for a short while and probably sat next to him while he tried to enjoy whatever TV show was on. I should have tried to communicate with him even when he could not say a word or move his facial muscles or his arms and hands. I do not remember having told him, “I love you, baby brother.” I HOPE I DID.

    When I learned the news of his going home to heaven, one of my first reactions was to ask God for his forgiveness. I felt guilty and beyond sad as a sibling and as a daughter to parents who lost another child. God has a good reason why He took Gadiel back in 2016. Same as, He had a good reason for giving Gadiel to our family in 1996. And just like what Pastor Don said in one of the services, through Gadiel’s life, we learned how to say thank you to God for each moment that he smiled and laughed. We learned to pray and believe for healing. And, we learned to be compassionate with children or families who have the same situation.  

    ***

    Lord, I believe that Gadiel is up there in the heavens with You. And now, he lacks nothing. He doesn’t need to ask You for anything. He sits, stands, walks, jumps for joy, overwhelmed in Your glorious presence. He praises and worships you with his words and songs. He is mindful of You as You are of him. Thank you, Lord. We choose to glorify You even in mourning. Thank You for healing our hearts and souls. In Jesus’ name we believe. Amen. 

    Celebral Palsy